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It would be so easy to wear my emotions on my sleeves, to wear my pain on my skin and display my feeling publicly for all to see like a newly painted canvass in public museum.
When I would think of their hands roaming my body, their words of hate and cruelty piercing my soul and their fist cracking my bones, I’d love it if I could just break down, tremble with tears and erupted into sobs.
Exactly like a …like a girl.
Don’t get me wrong ladies; you’re not all like this. I’ve seen you too when you’re corned, when you want only what you deserve…Justice. So you blame me for what another man did to you , besides, what one man does amplifies what we all do, does it not?
According to your standards it does.
So if I cry and scream, will you think differently of me? Will you think for just a second, that I’m human too? Will you finally believe me when I say that I’m not the man that hit you, not the man that raped your or beat you, not the man that ruined your life? Will you believe that I’ve been raped, been beaten, and been disgraced too?
But would you take it into consideration that unlike you, I’m a weakling for telling? Society hardens me; society covers my mouth with its symbolic tape. I’m a man, I protect. I can’t be hurt, I can only hurt. I can’t be weak; I can only make other’s weak.
So I’ll lock my emotions away, I’ll cover my canvass with white paint. I’ll recoil from touch, adapt to the harsh and unspoken rules of this society.  I’ll become angry when you suggest that I’m weak, when you suggest that something’s wrong with me.
And then I’ll think for just a second…if I’m exactly the same as the man who hurt you (according to your standards), then are you the same as the woman who hurt me? Are you the same woman who’s conditioning me to be a cold and heartless device, conditioning  me to convert my sadness and fear into anger? Are you the woman who chooses to ignore my pain and suffering, blandly saying that I CANNOT BE ABUSED?
Like you believe I am the man who hurt you, I’ll believe you are the woman who continues to do so to me; who continues to hurt me without speaking to me, without looking at me, by simply ignoring me. Your effect has been long adopted by the harsh leaders of society, a society that sweeps my abuse under the rug only to have yours amplified on billboards.
Where’s my shelter when I have nowhere to go, where’s my hotline when I’m hiding in my room, hiding from my abusive spouse, where do I stay when the world is completely against me? I don’t know and frankly, I suppose according to you, I shouldn’t care.
So I’ll lock my pain away, become the monster that you fear.
I’ll be a man.
For those in I'mreallyNOTokay, read this: 

I entered this earlier for a kinda spoken word thingy, not meant to offend anyone in this group, but i'm not changing the title. It's a different perspective on things, it contains rape and abuse, so if that stuff makes you sick, I advise you to turn away. It goes well with this group, so for those of you who need it, i've decied to post it. 
T
o the Feminist: The Battered man
Firstly, let me just say this is too the extreme feminist, you know who you are. And I’m not saying that women aren’t abused because I know that we are, but there are just as many men who are battered and abused as well. Unfortunately, society has conditioned a man to hide their emotions inside, lock away their pain and eventually, it becomes something they can’t handle. Abuse regarding both genders is not a laughing matter, but more importantly, locking away such emotions lead to no good.
So, out of my anger regarding equality (I’ve been involved in the movement), I’ve decided to write a short story.

It's just a free verse, and when my 24 hrs are up, i'm putting this in a group. I didn't feel like writing those long statics things because face it, many of them are just made up. So, from my heart, I wrote this, I put myself in someone else's shoes (which I do a lot), so I hope this turned out okay.




Add a Comment:
 
:iconcolonelbsacquet:
ColonelBSacquet Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014
Beaten by his spouse ? Wow. That doesn't get aired very often.


"So I’ll lock my pain away, become the monster that you fear.
I’ll be a man."

Now, now ... let us not be extreme. A man can be, well, a man, without having to completely lock his emotions away.
Aren't there some millions of examples of that ?
Reply
:iconmagdalenacaracol:
magdalenacaracol Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2014
YES. you should read my poem :)
Reply
:iconwinter-fallspring:
Winter-Fallspring Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
very well expressed. :)

ps i know how much keeping everything locked inside can mess with you xD
Reply
:iconlidsworth:
lidsworth Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Thanks!
Reply
:iconcammie-pink:
Cammie-Pink Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2013   Artist
all of this is true. however, both  genders can be considered abusive.  it might not always seem like that but,  both men and women can be abusive simply because they don't know how to coexist nor let go of the past--along with their preconceptions and habits. 
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:iconlidsworth:
lidsworth Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
That's why I wrote this.
Reply
:iconcammie-pink:
Cammie-Pink Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2013   Artist
cool! to be honest wit you, i don't consider myself an extreme feminist. Rather, i think of myself as someone who believes that coexistence without hidden expectations from both sexes can
be a wonderful thing. Too bad nobody see it that way. 
Reply
:iconsolidmars:
SolidMars Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey there Wave 
Your wonderful work has been featured here Weekly Feature
Happy holidays :iconbackhug: :heart:
Reply
:iconlidsworth:
lidsworth Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Thanks, happy holidays to you too!
Reply
:iconsolidmars:
SolidMars Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
you're welcome :huggle:
Reply
:iconthepenvsthesword:
ThePenVsTheSword Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013  Student Writer
I think you did very well with this piece. A couple of technical errors, but nothing major. Good job.
Reply
:iconlidsworth:
lidsworth Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Thanks, i'm really glad you liked it ;D 
Reply
:iconthepenvsthesword:
ThePenVsTheSword Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013  Student Writer
You're welcome! XD And I wouldn't worry about it being offensive. It really doesn't seem that way. Or at least it didn't seem that way to me. It's very clear who it's directed at.
Reply
:iconlidsworth:
lidsworth Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Yeah, I had a clear image in my head when I was writing this, again, i'm glad you liked it. 
Reply
:iconthepenvsthesword:
ThePenVsTheSword Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2013  Student Writer
Well, it shows.
Reply
:iconwolfsong6:
wolfsong6 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013
Hey, lidsworth,

I really enjoy this story. I really loved that you wrote this story to highlight a man's true feelings but also remembered that women are also being abused. I really love how you expressed a little of both sides. I also really love your sense of equality. I do not really know why women bash on men, or why there are unnecessary conflicts between the two genders, especially over the most trivial of things.

Thank you, this might have inspired me to write about my own feelings in regards to gender equality.

You did a pretty good job with this. Keep up the good work!
Reply
:iconlidsworth:
lidsworth Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Thanks :D I"m glad you liked it ;D 
Reply
:iconslaviorsalmon:
SlaviorSalmon Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2013   Traditional Artist
It annoys me that Feminists bash men. Not any particular man, just a man for the point of them being well...A man. When feminists do that, He/She starts crossing the line from Feminism to hatred. Feminism is supposed to give Woman equal rights to men. Not put them down. I think it maybe even harder for abused men, because they're probably told to get over it, or "man up".
Reply
:iconlidsworth:
lidsworth Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Exactly my point, especially the abused men part, society "toughens" them up. 
Reply
:iconslaviorsalmon:
SlaviorSalmon Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013   Traditional Artist
Going through abuse can toughen people up, but it makes them break down inside just as easily. People who play that card need to realize that while terrible situations like that can toughen you up, it breaks you down inside, and the majority of men who suffer abuse don't go around laughing and drinking wine with fedoras on their heads about how abuse toughened them up. I know this seems crazy to some people, but men are humans too, and they CAN be triggered, they CAN get emotional, abuse can destroy a man, abuse can destroy anyone, this whole fucking culture that has been built up about how men are indestructible needs to fucking stop.
Reply
:iconlidsworth:
lidsworth Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I'm glad you think that way. 
Reply
:iconccfirebloom:
ccfirebloom Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2013  Student General Artist
The truth.
Reply
:iconuripidese589:
URIPIDESE589 Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2013
  I chanced upon your short story. Very well done it is too. I love the misdirection and the reveal at the end, But please don't look on me as flippant following that comment.
  
I've changed my response to this well penned and eloquent piece of writing so many times, I should really post this woeful reply, I've sat here for easily 4 hours and this is as far as I've got!.....OMG MOAR POEMS!.........Altermind.......,Facepalm  
  

  

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:iconlidsworth:
lidsworth Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
thanks
Reply
:iconemrysmercer:
emrysmercer Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2013  Student Writer
This is an excellent piece.
Reply
:iconlidsworth:
lidsworth Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
thanks! im glad you liked it😏 

Reply
:iconjameythehedgehog:
JameytheHedgehog Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2013  Student General Artist
While I can imagine a lot of rappers singing about women as though they're accessories, I can't imagine that painful "If I Were a Boy" song by Beyonce Knowles being sung by any man towards any woman and getting away with it. Just to show that both genders can be biased.
Reply
:iconminustwoseventhree:
minustwoseventhree Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2013
What are you talking about? Males basically sing songs like that all the time.

Also, it's okay for Beyonce to sing about stuff like that because she's a woman and has been affected by men's attitudes towards women. Men never have been, so it'd just exist to enforce inequality between genders.

Reply
:iconlidsworth:
lidsworth Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Did you not like it? 
Reply
:iconminustwoseventhree:
minustwoseventhree Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2013
I don't dislike it.
What I dislike is your attitude towards feminism and seeming to think that no feminist cares about abuse towards the male sex.
Reply
:iconlidsworth:
lidsworth Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Remember, I said "extreme" feminist in the description, not the level-headed feminist. 
Reply
:iconminustwoseventhree:
minustwoseventhree Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2013
"Feminists" that believe abuse towards men aren't real feminists, though. And we'd really appreciate not being lumped in with them.
Reply
:iconlordlycaliber:
LordlyCaliber Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2013
Do you realize how incredibly hypocritical you're being when you just finished badgering JameytheHedgehog for using "I don't do that" as a scapegoat only for you to immediately use the exact same trick to distance yourself from "extreme feminists"? "Oh, those kinds of feminists that ignore male abuse aren't real feminists, because I'm a real feminist and I don't do that." You're doing the exact same thing, and it's this kind of commonality that weakens your entire cause.

You don't get to generalize the entire male gender of the human race and lump every societal problem related to them into each individual male, and you certainly don't get to do it when you still refuse to accept that those awful extremists are every bit a part of the feminist movement that you attach yourself to. If you want a little credibility as a movement, then deal with your insane extremists instead of just pretending that they aren't "real feminists". How would you feel if men just went, "Oh those rapists and abusive husbands are just extremist men, they aren't real men so they don't count."?
Reply
:iconminustwoseventhree:
minustwoseventhree Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2013
We don't. Do that.
And actually, yeah, radical feminism is entirely separate from other types of feminism.
There's a huge difference between pointing out that the male population is more privileged than women despite whether they do it consciously or not, and pointing out that there is a group of extremists that are entirely separate from the main cause.

Like, honestly. Whether men mean it or not, they oppress women. They all do it. They all benefit from their privilege whether they consciously do it or not.
Am I saying men are bad? No. BUT it's important that they realize they're benefiting whether or not they actually intend to.

What, would it now also be hypocritical if I said that not all muslims are muslim terrorists?

And how do you know we DON'T deal with radfems? We're the ones who are being damaged by them.
Reply
(2 Replies)
:iconlidsworth:
lidsworth Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
But that particular group tends to be the Ambassador that represents your group. 
Reply
:iconminustwoseventhree:
minustwoseventhree Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2013
Yes, because they're the only ones people will listen to.
That's like saying it's alright to be islamaphobic because the people that tend to represent muslims are terrorists.
Reply
(2 Replies)
:iconjameythehedgehog:
JameytheHedgehog Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2013  Student General Artist
Well I don't, so I don't deserve to hear women saying stuff like "You're just a boy, if I were you I'd be a much better boy than you." on the radio.

Saying someone is "Just a boy" or "Just a girl" is never justified.
Reply
:iconminustwoseventhree:
minustwoseventhree Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2013
Oh yeah, you don't, so it automatically means you are exempt from every privilege being male grants you.
Just because you as an individual have never oppressed a woman as an individual doesn't mean that collectively, you as men have never oppressed women collectively.
Try getting that around your head.
Reply
:iconjameythehedgehog:
JameytheHedgehog Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2013  Student General Artist
So your point is, just because I as an individual don't willingly oppress a woman doesn't mean I'm not doing it collectively, without knowing?
Reply
:iconminustwoseventhree:
minustwoseventhree Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2013
Basically.
People use "well -I- don't do that" as a scapegoat all the time. 
And yeah it's true that one individual rarely oppresses another group but it doesn't mean no one is responsible.

Reply
:iconjameythehedgehog:
JameytheHedgehog Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2013  Student General Artist
I think it's really important to ask someone what their point is, because it's impossible to know if you'll make any sense to them or vice versa.

Most people, any sane person, will say "I don't do that" when you ask them if they do something terrible. And the ones who do probably don't have the the integrity to tell the truth, so they'll say the same thing. Oppression is horrible and terrible but everyone knows that. How do you think it becomes so prevalent? When it's hiding in plain sight.

When I was in high school, I was taught in Sociology about the Blue Eyes, Brown Eyes experiment. It's amazing what people will go along with. That doesn't make them bad people. But it's easier to blame them for what they do than it is to go and google Blue Eyes Brown Eyes if you don't know what it is.

So who is to blame? Seeing people criticizing one another as being part of "Rape culture" or "subconsciously sexist", I just think people are too quick to blame. Because their suffering. They want to fight back. Everyone seems to want to leap in and be critical of someone saying something as a broad generalization or too harsh or patronizing or something. And I get it, I'm flawed, probably deeply flawed, you have flaws, everybody has flaws. I just wish people wouldn't find it so easy to push their anger and frustration on other people through the tiniest of mistakes and arguing. I don't want to argue anymore. Not even with like... homophobes or racists. They could still be good people or have fundamentally good qualities, just be deeply flawed. I'm one of those people who still believe that... MOST people have the same inherent sense of good in them. I'm just old fashioned that way, and way too forgiving. Usually. About most things.

I'm trying to look at the big picture all the time but everywhere you go on the internet, people are angry at each other for the slightest things. And I don't see that in real life 99% of the time. I see certain people pointing to everything and being offended in some way. All I can gain from this is that nearly everyone is sexist. Everyone is a racist, homophobic offensive bigot in some way. And if they're not, they're obsessed with censorship and don't care about free speech.

It seems like people will always make errors of judgement. Taking offense, or not taking offense. Everyone sucks. Everyone has an axe to grind. Maybe we're a generation of crybabies or something, taking everything so far. I don't want to do that anymore, I want to be the one who says "take a chill pill" and believe everyone is just hurting and have sympathy, to transcend all this mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.

It would be easier to see every living being on the internet as Darth Vader. Angry and heartbroken, secretly pathetic inside, but dark and brooding on the outside and apparently the villain. But really, every human being is a victim. I don't believe in "bad" people anymore. That could be naive of me.

I'm lost in thought and rambling but I can't help it.
Reply
:iconlidsworth:
lidsworth Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
yeah
Reply
:icontoxicwyvern:
ToxicWyvern Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Excellent piece.  It really looks like what would go inside the mind of an abused man.   You seem really good at putting yourself in other people's shoes.
Reply
:iconlidsworth:
lidsworth Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Thank my acting classes and just ability to enhance other's emotions. I'm glad you liked it :D 
Reply
:iconlordmep:
lordmep Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Very poetic and lovely piece. Thank you for expressing yourself to us.
Reply
:iconlidsworth:
lidsworth Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
No problem...i'm glad you liked it. 
Reply
:iconcrimsonfalke:
CrimsonFALKE Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Weird thing is hell women are the majority of abusers specifically with children 
Reply
:iconlidsworth:
lidsworth Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Exactly, you should read "A Child Called It," by Dave Pelzer, it's a really sad book and it has a lot to do with this. 
Reply
:iconcrimsonfalke:
CrimsonFALKE Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I already read Abusive Women Especially in Marriage By Granville N. Woodbine. That was a pretty in depth look at pretty much all forms of abusive women. Hell its so scary that well I honestly am so shocked that maybe women shouldn't be near children, its illogical but still scary
Reply
:iconlidsworth:
lidsworth Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Now, I won't go as far as to say that, but in my opinion, both men and women need to be mentally prepared to raise children and we need to, as a country, look for warning signs of potential abusers. 
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