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Submitted on
July 25


40 (who?)
Push and pull at her long hair, topple her to the solid ground,
elbow her sharply in the raw gut, shove her harshly around.

Scratch him in the pale face, punch him in the broken jaw,
do anything necessary to him that's considered breaking the law.

And when she cries because you've punched her, let her be,
and observe her when she returns to her habitual smoking.

When she passes out next day, because she's drunken too much booze,
slap her in the face once more, though many would consider it abuse.

When he can hardly walk because he thinks he's high in the clouds,
rip the needle out of his arm, and with your nails, slash him across the sweaty brow.

Grab them and shake them till their battered and bruised,
tear at their heart, scream in their ears until you've reached the point of verbal abuse.

And when she falls into your chest, and he collapses to the ground,
pull them closely, and whisper, “We can turn this all around.”

And rehab is a necessity for all of you, because you've all suffered just the same.
When tough love is introduced into a household, you think you burden all the blame.

But sometimes it's necessary to toss them around, to smack some shit into them,
and to beat them to the ground.

Because you're the husband, it's what you have to do.
Because you're their wife, and it can be only you.

Because for better of for worse, you must do what is necessary, to make your love true.
I'm not promoting or supporting senseless abuse, however, I stand behind smacking some sense into someone when they're losing themselves. To some of you this poem may come off as harsh, but I give my friends and my future husband (if I have one :( ) Permission to smack me across the face if I slip into some stupid shit that i've gotten myself into. 
If I'm clinging to drugs like a life source, than It needs to be wrestled away from me if I'm not letting go. Sometimes things will get physical because it's the only way things can be solved in situations like that. 
Many of you won't like this, and I can understand, but this is my opinion on a situation like this. I believe in tough love 100%. 
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ComixThreeSevens Featured By Owner Edited Dec 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Bullshit. Pure bullshit. Abuse is the never the answer, dumbass.
lidsworth Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Opinions vary, as you may see in the comments. But I respect yours, though you don't respect mine. Thank you for taking the time to comment. 
Avii-chan123 Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Do smack some sense into people if they are needing some realization. DON'T smack them out of frustration.You love then don't you?Sometimes action has to be taken. BTW , I love this poem, even though its a tad too violent for me.
lidsworth Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you, many people were missing the point! And I do agree with what you were saying. 
Fuschiabell Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
How exactly would hitting someone make them stop being an addict?  Surely most addicts became addicts in the first place because they had a hard life or were abused and couldn't cope with that etc?  How is abusing them more helping them?  How is slapping them in the face when they're already unconscious going to change a thing? And how the hell can you ever say that beating someone in such a horrific way is love?

Would you only do this for drugs/alcohol?  What about casual smoking of cigarettes?  What about eating unhealthy foods that makes them fat?  What about them just doing things you don't want them to do?  If you start on this path and see results, where would you draw the lines?  Abuse is about control and ALL abuse is ALWAYS bad and NEVER love.  
TheBakerandWriter Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
May I please comment on what you have said here? I have had personal experience with the exact thing lidsworth is speaking about here. My aunt and uncle had a very rough time in their relationship because my uncle was drinking himself to death. He did not have a hard life he had a very pleasant one the reason he got into drinking was because of games and just having  agood time but he got addicted to the bottle. Many a times she had to hit him to try and get him conscious again and no she did not like what she was doing nor did she really want to do it but she did so she could have a husband around for her children. And guess what it ended up working. He realized she would do whatever she had to do to keep him there and he realized how much he was hurting his family by this. So no all abuse is not always bad and yes it is out of love sometimes, because my uncle and aunt love each other even more for that. So please consider this...thank you.
Fuschiabell Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
What you decribe sounds different to what the poem sounds like its describing. Did your aunt hit him just to try and get him conscious, or at other times too, just because she felt he deserved it?  To me, the poem sounds like if someone is an addict, you have the right to beat them up just because they deserve it. It sounds like they can be severely beaten up, not to achieve some purpose like trying to get them conscious, but just to teach them some kind of random lesson (like that they're pathetic useless muck that is only worthy of being beaten). 

Did your aunt try other things, like leaving him and only having him back if he gets sober?  That might have made him realise he was hurting his family too. Also, leaving someone is still tough love. You probably don't want to leave them because you love them, but sometimes you have to for the sake of your kids and to get the person to realise you won't put up with that behaviour anymore.  Also, you can't be the only one doing the loving. They have to love you back too, and that means changing in order to get you back. If they don't love you enough to bother stopping hurting you, then what's the point of one sided love? You're doing all you can to save a person who quite frankly is just abusing you through their alcoholism, and if you're stuck in that situation then sometimes you're the one who really needs saving and who needs to learn self love. 

I'm really glad that things worked out for your aunt and uncle. I can understand why she did what she did. I still think its messed up though and I personally still don't agree with it. I think she should have left him so her kids could be brought up in an alcoholic free, abuse free environment. Maybe they got that eventually but they probably still had to live through years of hell first. 

I also don't agree with it because like I said in my original post, where can you draw the lines?  Hit them only when they're severe alcoholics?  Hit them because they got drunk once?  Hit them because they've got a mental illness? Hit them because they're fat?  You could argue that you did it out of love and that it worked. After all maybe if you hit your gf, she will stop being so fat because she'll stop eating so much out of fear of you hitting her again. Maybe you'd have saved her from getting a heart attack. That's love, right?  Where's the difference?  You saved her life and made her a better person who will be there for your kids.  The argument can be applied to so many situations and it is how abusive people think and the type of excuses they make.  

Its messed up love and its the abuse that messed it up (primarily his because him being an alcoholic was abusive in the first place). 
TheBakerandWriter Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
No she did not hit him only to get him conscious she did hit him out of frustrations of him coming home wasted and getting so bad he'd get toxic poisoning time after time. But she wasn't proud of what she was doing no. And the way she puts it in her poem they are not proud of what they are doing either but they do it so they keep them there with them.

Yes she did leave him once and he did stay sober for a month only to do it once again when she came back to him. My cousins came to live with me and my grandparents for a while because of that my aunt didn't want them seeing what was happening to their father both because of his own actions and hers. They still loved each other very much but he didn't realize how badly he was hurting them by his drinking. He didn't realize a lot of what he was doing because he was basically intoxicated 99% of the time. They went through a lot of trial and error in their marriage through that.

Yes I agree with you that there is a fine line here but I have to agree with the content of this poem because I have witnessed it first hand. But I must also disagree with what you are saying about the boyfriend issue. That to me is a whole nother issue. Here they are basically killing themselves yes in the long run she may as well but to me he is just dissatisfied at how she looks.
Fuschiabell Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
So he became sober when she left him?  Surely that proves that leaving him works and it isn't necessary to resort to violence?  She came back too soon and should have left again when he returned to drinking. 

He did realise how badly he was hurting them. He realised that she left because of his drinking. He sobered up because of it. When he was sober, he knew what he had done. He knew it hurt her. He knew it hurt his kids. He chose to drink again. That isn't love. That's taking her for granted and taking advantage of her loyalty to him... She came back, so why does he need to stop?  If she stays, then why does he need to stop?  She's proving she'll put up with it, so why would he need to change?  If he loved her, he'd change just because he doesn't want to hurt her. He obviously didn't love her enough. If he wasn't drinking to cope with some deep seated pain, then he doesn't even have that as an excuse. 

She hit him out of frustration?  When she hit him, do you think she was thinking "I'm hitting him so he will stop drinking and because I love him and want to save him", or do you think she was thinking "You're ruining my life, I hate you!  I can't believe you're doing this to me and the kids again, you awful, awful man!"

Abused people often stay with their abuser and keep coming back to them even when they do leave. This is usually because they're trauma bonded to them. A trauma bond can feel like really intense love to the person experiencing it, but its not love.  Sounds to me like they were probably codependent and trauma bonded. 
TheBakerandWriter Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Alright I see your point but I am going to make this short and sweet. I see them almost everyday I saw what was going on when this was happening and it was rather recent withing the last 7 years but he is fine now. What she did helped him. She hit him because she wanted him to stop because she loved him to much to do nothing professional help wasn't working and when she left him he did sober up and she came back because she thought he would stop but he didn't. He continued doing it but in the end he did stop they worked it out together and it is not a trauma bond it is love...
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